A Soggy Sojourn in the Smokies
Where to go, where to go, where to go was the mantra my wife and I were singing a month or two ago. Should we go to the beach again for our fall getaway? How about going to a big city like New York or Montreal? They both sounded intriguing. Or perhaps we could take another swing down south? That sounded like fun too. So what shall we do?
We eventually mentioned our quandary to some friends and they suggested, “Why don’t you guys try going to the Smoky Mountains? You can rent a cabin and go back to your roots!” They had done that very thing a few times in the past and really enjoyed it.
Judy and I gave the idea some serious thought. We’d never really booked a cabin in the woods before. Well, we had, but it was a bare-bones place a long time ago back when our son was little and it wasn’t a whole lot better than the tents we had used for camping up to that point. But this cabin would be different. This one had a full kitchen, whirlpool bath, hot tub, king bed, big-screen TV and other various nicer accoutrements. It would be more like a higher-end hotel room but rustic and in the mountains.
It sounded very interesting.
We used a booking agent that our friends had used in the past and soon we were the “owners” (for four nights at least) of a neat lil’ cabin in the woods! It was situated about five miles outside Pigeon Forge Tennessee. To further identify all of this booking agency’s cabins, they all had a name.
Our cabin was “Call of the Wild”. Pretty cool, eh?
I’d been following the weather forecasts for Pigeon Forge for a couple weeks before our trip, and they all looked poor. Rain, rain and more rain. But we had hopes that the forecasters might have been mistaken this one time, so we made sure we had our umbrellas and set off.
The mapping program on my computer at home said it’d take about 7 and some hours to make the drive and I knew to add a couple more for various stops along the way – food, restroom, stretch our legs, see the sights, etc. So I was guessing about 10-ish for the trip and I was pretty much right on the nose.
We rose early and were clicking down the road around six a.m. A bit chilly and dark, of course, but the road was clear and dry and we were on our way!
The rains started just about the time we crossed the Ohio River at Cincinnati. They were steady and quite heavy at times. The strong rain and the ever present spray from traffic ahead made driving miserable most of the time and even dangerous during the worst of it. My phone even squawked flood warnings a few times, but most of it died down as we got into Tennessee and it was somewhat drier when we got to the cabin.
Our cabin was as advertised, clean and ready for occupation. I was a bit disappointed to find out there was no wi-fi available, but doggone it, this was a cabin in the woods. I guess I could rough it for a few days, eh? The TV was satellite and unfamiliar to me, so I had to fuss around a bit to figure it out. But finally we had TV and were able to watch most of what we wanted.
After a trip back into town for supper – a fish and chicken place – we returned to our rustic abode and hit the hay. We were pretty secluded, so this was new territory for my wife and I. We’re quite used to the sounds of the small city we live in so cars, trains, sirens and various other sounds are quite normal. But now we were in the woods! We heard various thumps and bumps and rumbles and hisses and knocks as the night passed. Bears? Racoons?
Oh God, not Bigfoot?
It was amazing how colorful our imaginations could be while we were cowering under our blankets in a dark woods.
Eventually the black night passed (Did I tell you it’s DARK in the woods, folks) and the gray light of another rainy day dawned. The weather reports on TV said rain most of the week, which was sad but not unexpected. We cleaned up and headed back into Pigeon Forge for some breakfast. We noticed we were starting to get comfortable with the twists and turns we had to make to get from the cabin to town.
Breakfast was at a pancake cabin along the main drag. It was a chain and there must have been a dozen of them.
We had planned to drive into the Great Smoky Mountains National Park sometime during our visit, but were hesitant to do so now because of the rain. We decided to do it then anyhow, rain be damned. The park entrance was quite a ways out of town. The mapping program had said about an hour to get there and they were right. Finally we drove through the main gate and were in the park. The area we wanted to visit was called Cades Cove. There was a loop road at that part – one way – that was where everyone wanted to go. It was supposed to be THE place to see wildlife. Uh-huh. Supposed to be… On a sunny day I was guessing. Anyhow, we drove it, along with hundreds of other cars. I wondered aloud about how jam-packed that drive might be in July on a warm, pretty day. This was about as gloomy as it gets and still there were LOTS of folks out and about. Anyway, we saw a small herd of horses and various flocks of turkeys as we made the journey. No deer. No bears. But at the very end of our time in the park I spotted what MIGHT have been a wolf. It was next to the road. Darkish and dog-like but definitely NOT a dog. The nose was not pointy like a coyote either. Only saw it for a second or two, but doggone it, I’m going to say it was a wolf!
We took another route back to “civilization” – Gatlinburg – that was the curviest road I’ve ever driven. It followed a mountain river and had places you could almost see yourself coming and going as you rounded another 300+ degree curve.
Lunch was at a Mexican restaurant and was quite good. We returned to the cabin for a while that afternoon then visited one of the many museums along the main drag. This one was called "Alcatraz East” and was all about crime and criminals. Quite well done and we got great discounts there for me being a veteran. After that we went to a Sonic and had hot fudge sundaes. Mmmm! Lunch was late and large, so we weren’t very hungry. Then it was back to the cabin in the dark. The mountain roads are QUITE a bit more challenging at night!
Tuesday morning we had breakfast at a Cracker Barrel – a large meal. My seemingly never-ending off-and-on stomach problems were on again this week, so I had some belly difficulties for some hours after eating. Next we drove to a huge knife store up in Sevierville, a little north of Pigeon Forge. We wandered around it for an hour or two and - wait for it - bought some knives! What a stretch, eh? Never saw so much knives in my life. And in the lower level, a large kitchen store with – wait for it again – oodles and oodles of kitchen knives! Wowser! Quite an interesting place.
We’d purchased tickets for a dinner theater the day before, so after the knife place we went there. It was called “The Hatfield and McCoy Feud Dinner Theater.” Never mind how incongruous the title was and how the real feud took place hundreds of miles away, it was fun. It was a huge theater with tables on tiers above the stage. They served a nice lunch before the show – fried chicken and pulled pork, mashed potatoes, cole slaw, corn-on-the-cob, rolls and butter. It was topped off by your choice of banana or chocolate pudding. The show was part country music, part funny stuff and all family-friendly cornpone. The famous feud was the cornerstone of the show of course, but the performance ended up with a large pool of water on the stage with the actors diving into it along with diving dogs and silly skits. It was a nice high point for the day and, albeit somewhat expensive, still a fun couple of hours.
Supper was a Shoney’s and I had just soup and salad. Again our mid-day meal was large and I wasn’t very hungry. We returned to the cabin around 8 and had some wine. Wanted to watch some TV on FX, but we didn’t have FX there.
We are really roughing it this week!
Wednesday was our last full day in Tennessee. Heavy rain was forecast for all day. Yesterday we actually had a little sun peeking out in the afternoon, but today we were back in the soggies.
Went to a place called Mel’s Diner for breakfast. It was modeled after a diner in a 70’s TV show called “Alice” starring Linda Lavin. It was a small, stainless-steel sided diner, 50’s decorations on the walls inside with good diner food and cantankerous waitresses. They seemed to be busy every time we drove past the place. We ate and enjoyed the shenanigans going on, then ventured out again into the deluge.
Next stop was the Hollywood Wax Museum. Yes, I know. Wax museums are kind of the low end of any tourist area, most kind of tacky, but it was a rainy day and… Hell… Anyhow, we went. Actually it was one of the better ones. The wax figures were mostly very good likenesses of the people and most of them had props you could hold or wear if you wanted to take your pictures with them. It was actually kind of fun. The building itself, on the outside, was a replica of the Empire State Building with King Kong climbing it! Very noticeable from a long way away. Then it was souvenir shopping and a stop at another area to go through a candy store (yeah, we bought some), a pottery (beautiful stuff – had to force myself not to spend some real money) then a stop at a distillery. There were many distilleries in the area, but this one was where we were, so… We sampled some various flavors of the local moonshine – apple pie, blackberry, cinnamon, banana’s foster, chocolate and other yummy ones. You got six tastes for free and we enjoyed them all. We then adjourned back to the cabin for a rest. We MIGHT have been a bit woozy from the moonshine! Supper was at an upscale Italian place and the servings were enormous. We ate like troopers, but were, in the end, stymied by the amount of food. Back to the cabin afterward to finish the wine and hit the hay early. Another early day coming up tomorrow.
Thursday was our travel day. Doughnuts and decaf were our motivators that dark and rainy morning as we headed north through the monsoon. It was just as miserable as the drive down had been with moderate rain interspersed with very heavy downpours. From Lexington north, however, the rains had stopped and those hours on the road were dry and pleasant, albeit quite cloudy. We returned home in the late afternoon.
It was cool, dry and we were finally back.
A DREAM VACATION
To all of my faithful readers out there, I’d like to share a few facts with you if you would allow me. I find them interesting and so might you. They’re also apropos to the travelogue you’re about to read.
The Carnival Cruise Line has 27 ships sailing the world at this point in time consisting of 8 classes. These are: Fantasy – 70,000 gross tons, Triumph – 101,000 gross tons, Spirit – 88,000 tons, Conquest – 110,000 tons, Splendor – 113,000 tons, Dream – 130,000 tons, Sunshine – 102,000 tons and Vista – 133,000 tons. Those are the weights of those ships devoid of passengers or crew.
We have sailed on one Fantasy class, two Conquest classes and just last week on one of the biggest ones, a Dream class – actually the first of that class, the Carnival Dream. Our ship, our home-away-from-home was built in 2008, has a passenger capacity of 4,600 and has over 1,400 crew. On our particular sailing the passenger load was around 4,000 with over 400 children.
What’s really remarkable about being on a ship with that many people on board is that you usually don’t notice it as being too crowded. Occasionally there are lines of course, here and there. But they are usually not too long and move fairly quickly. I’ll give you some examples later on.
So with that being said, the rest of this blog concerns our vacation around the end of April and the beginning of May. Some might consider the blog fascinating, others interesting and the rest maybe ho-hum. In any event, for those wanting to come along, welcome!
This particular odyssey began in a cold Ohio drizzle on a Wednesday morning in late April about two weeks ago. We had decided to drive to the port for this cruise for several reasons. It would be a bit cheaper than flying, we actually enjoy road trips and the departure port was New Orleans – a two-day drive we had done before. There were two other couples joining us for the road trip part, and one of them would also be joining us on the cruise. We all were friends and co-workers and were looking forward to a nice trip. Their names were Chuck and Pam and Dan and Alice.
The road trip went fairly well until we encountered a traffic jam between Cincinnati and Louisville, Kentucky. A MASSIVE traffic jam. It took almost two hours before we were able to inch off at an exit. Then we had to detour around what ended up being a very bad accident on the interstate. Imagine thousands of trucks with a scattering of cars slowly making their way up and down small Kentucky roads for miles and miles to bypass this accident. By the time we returned to the interstate at the next exit we’d lost two to three hours driving time. Being slowed down in this spot meant we were to be rewarded by going through Nashville, Tennessee in the middle of a Wednesday rush hour. This is not a recommended thing to do. Judy and I finally got to the hotel we’d booked in northern Alabama much later than we’d planned. Our friends were even further behind. We finally met up with them at a restaurant near our hotels and told each other our individual traffic jam horror stories. After a decent meal it was off to our hotel beds and soon we were asleep.
On Thursday we again hit the road in a dreary rain which dogged us until we were in the state of Mississippi. A funny story: While passing through that state, Judy said that she’d seen an armadillo next to the highway. A live one. Now my wife has excellent eyes and can see things that most other folks can’t, but… an armadillo? In Mississippi? I kidded her about it for a while, but then, who knows? Maybe?
We enjoyed watching the countryside come alive as spring showed her green leaves and colorful flowers to our thankful eyes, more so with each mile southward we traveled. Ohio was definitely a week or two behind these latitudes in the springtime department.
Our GPS routed us to the big causeway across Lake Pontchartrain north of New Orleans. It’s an interesting stretch of highway with the big lake all around you. And there was an odd thing about our GPS routing that day too. When we were within a mile or so of our hotel, the GPS routed us INTO the New Orleans airport, PAST the departure drop-off area and then BACK out onto the highway. When I mentioned that odd thing to the hotel desk clerk, she said that she’d heard that story before. Just an odd thing about the roads in that area I guess. Oh yes, we also hit New Orleans rush hour traffic on I-10 during this leg of the journey. We seemed to never get a break. Again our travel companions were way behind us, so my wife and I ate supper alone at a restaurant across the street from the hotel. It was called the Voodoo Barbecue and Grill and had very good Nawlin’s type food. Judy ordered a shrimp dish that was just simply outstanding. This was in a suburb of New Orleans named Kenner where our hotel was, but the food was downtown NOLA good! We returned to the hotel around 8:30 and the other couples arrived a little after that. We mentioned a couple restaurants in the area and, if I’m not mistaken, they selected Wendy’s. In other words, on their first night in Creole-Cajun Country they ate fast food. I’m sure Paul Prudhomme, somewhere, was rolling in his grave. Judy and I were soon off to bed again with visions of heavy traffic and Cajun-flavored shrimp dancing in our heads.
On Friday, my wife and I were going to be tour guides for a while. Our friends had never been to NOLA, so we were going to show them a few things, orient them a bit as to where everything we knew about in the French Quarter was and then turn them loose.
We ate breakfast at the hotel then drove all three cars into town. After a few detours through the Quarter, we arrived at our parking lot near the old Jax brewery on Decatur. As is the case in most big cities and especially in tourist areas, parking is expensive. $30 for five hours in this case. The other two couples had brought electric scooters to help the ladies get around as the women have some mobility issues. I led this merry procession to one of Judy’s and my favorite stops in the French Quarter, the Café du Monde. We had to have our friends taste beignets and café au lait. The perfect way to start the day in the Crescent City! They were busy there, but they always are, seems like. We savored the tasty French pastries and the creamy coffee, then walked (and scooted) across the street to where carriage rides were available. We all bought passage on a carriage pulled by a mule named Freckles, whose spotted hide gave credence to his name. By the way, they use mules in NOLA instead of horses because the mules are stronger, smarter and don’t mind the heat as much as horses would. At least that’s what our driver told us.
Our carriage ride went through the French Quarter, while our driver (muleskinner?) described what we were seeing and told us a lot of the history of the area, all of which was fascinating. We stopped at the St. Louis No. 1 cemetery halfway through the tour and did a walking tour of it. Judy and I had seen it before, but it was still an interesting hour or so. As a note: Nicholas Cage has a new tomb in there, pyramid-shaped, prepared for his eventual demise. Very odd. Another fact: the tombs there are all above ground due to the high water table. Because of the heat in NOLA, a body in a tomb will turn to dust in about a year – a slow cremation. Then, when another body needs to be entombed, they just brush the dust off from the previous occupant and slide in the new wooden coffin. Thus a whole family can utilize a smallish tomb. Then back to Freckles and the carriage and the ride back to Jackson Square where we had started.
After that we moved to Aunt Sally’s praline shop nearby to purchase some of New Orleans best confections– pralines! Then we split up, letting the other two couples visit and tour the area as they wanted.
Judy and I walked further east down Decatur Street to a bar called Tahyo. Some backstory about that if I may. We had become fond of a TV show on the Animal Planet channel called “Pit Bulls and Parolees”. It was about a lady, Tia Torres and her family, who ran a dog rescue facility called Villalobos and who had ended up in New Orleans rescuing Pit Bull dogs. She also liked to hire parolees so they could have a chance on the outside. I believe Tia’s husband is in prison, so her preference for parolees is understandable. Anyhow, they always need more money to support their dogs, so they’d opened up a bar and a shop in the Quarter. All profits from them went to support the rescue center. Judy and I had a drink there, bought a t-shirt and helped the cause!
We then returned to our car (the five hour limit was almost up) and headed out to the Villalobos Rescue Center itself on Claiborne Street to take some pictures of the place. Unfortunately, on the way there, while I was negotiating a merge into traffic, someone banged into our car from the rear. By the time I pulled over, the offender had driven away. Just another hit-and-run in good ol’ Nawlins. The damage was ugly, but the car was driveable, the trunk was ok and all the lights worked. So… We drove on to Villalobos and took some pictures of the buildings and of people walking some of the rescued dogs. This was probably the low point of the vacation for me. We then drove back to the hotel, about 15 miles, again through quitting time traffic.
Kinda getting used to it by then.
Supper was back at the Voodoo barbecue place with our friends and then back to the hotel, the air conditioning, a little TV and then the comfortable bed.
Saturday was another sunny day in southern Louisiana. We decided not to go back downtown today. We had been there a number of times and actually couldn’t think of anything we particularly wanted to do there that we hadn’t done before. We encouraged our friends to do so however. We decided to do some laundry. (How boring was that?) The hotel’s laundry room was right across the hallway from our room so it was easy. Judy had even brought some detergent with us from home for that very reason! I ran out and grabbed a geocache while Judy starting the clothes and she was about done when I returned. I got one, too, which adds another state to our tally. Did some research on where to eat supper that night as it would be the last night for all six of us and I hoped to make it a memorable place. Decided on a local favorite, The Kenner Fish Restaurant. We drove down there that evening and, even though they were quite busy, were seated in less than 10 minutes. They had a very extensive menu, many of the items seafood, obviously. We saw a lot of locals sitting around us devouring boiled crawfish – mudbugs as they call them down there. Looked interesting, but decided to pass that evening on the “bugs”. Ended up with stuffed catfish, sides and a local beer, Abita Amber. Very large portions all around. Sadly I’m not sure my friends were all that into seafood, but they seemed OK with what they ordered and everything seemed to be right with the world that evening.
Next day, Sunday, was finally embarkation day! Yippee! We were up early and finished packing. I had several hurdles to overcome last week before I was totally sure I’d be able to make the trip – a couple of medical procedures – but they’d been completed satisfactorily and at last we were going.
We had a hotel breakfast with our friends and wished the couple who were heading off on their own, Chuck and Pam, good luck and fun on their travels. We talked to the other couple who were going with us and made plans for our drive down to the pier. We left a bit early as NOLA was having Jazz Fest that week and I was a little concerned about the traffic. Actually the drive was fast and easy. We encountered a line of cars waiting to enter the parking garage – cruisers obviously – but were in and parked fairly quickly. Checking in to the ship was mostly quick and painless. Lines of course, but all moving steadily. Soon we were on the ship! Carnival Dream, like all the other Carnival ships we’ve sailed on, is a beauty. Some say they’re “too gaudy” or “too over the top” in decor. Maybe we’re just simple folk, but we like it! We got our “sail and sign” cards before boarding – the card you use to “purchase” anything onboard – and they were gold this time! We’ve accrued 25 or more days sailing with Carnival and had achieved this level. It was a little exciting to be on the third tier of cruisers. The colors of the tiers are: blue, red, gold, platinum and diamond, each level attained by the number of days you have sailed with the Line. We ate our lunch at the Gathering buffet on the Lido deck and soon were in our stateroom. This was our first balcony cabin on a Carnival ship, so we were really enjoying being able to sit outside and watch the world from there. Our luggage was delivered quickly and soon we were all unpacked and snug in our little home away from home for the week.
I sat on the balcony as the ship left port and snapped away with my camera, recording how the Mississippi looked from a ship sailing down it. Saw lots of refineries, docks, tugboats and barges. We heard a knock on our balcony door and saw it was our room steward Arnold. He was setting up how many times we wanted our room made up and if we had any other requirements. He learned our names immediately and anytime we saw him in the halls during the cruise he called us by them. Good guy! Later in the day as we left most of civilization upriver, it was mostly trees and swamps. And lots and lots of brown Mississippi River water heading down toward the Gulf just as we were.
We had supper in the MDR (main dining room) that evening – the four of us – Dan, Alice, Judy and I. This ship had two main dining rooms, Scarlet and Crimson. I had trouble remembering which was ours. I remembered red, but that wasn’t good enough. (Why did they name them both synonyms of red?) Lots of fun during the week. We had good food and good conversation that meal. Our assigned dining room waiters were wonderful and knew our names after only hearing them once. Our head waiter, Sherwin, a Philipino, was perfect in his job and we loved him almost immediately. We could not remember ever having an issue with any of Carnival’s crew on any ship we’ve sailed on. Hard working, polite, friendly, good at their positions and always, always with a smile on their faces.
Judy and I went to the Welcome Aboard show in the main theater after supper to see what our Cruise Director was like. A good CD can make a good cruise into a great cruise and we lucked out on ours. His name was Lee, a 31-year-old Brit, and as full of energy as anyone you’ve ever met. A truly nice man and a natural born CD. He was MC of the show, talked about the ship and this and that, then introduced the singers and dancers we’d see during the week and they did a number. He then led them (and another 500 merrymakers) the length of the ship in a big conga line. They really push having fun on these ships! Finally we adjourned back to the cabin, poked our heads out to watch the blackness of the Mississippi as it neared its mouth, and then hit the hay.
Monday would be our first full day on the cruise. It was a sea day, meaning we would not hit a port that day. I awoke before Judy, around 7, and I slipped out onto our balcony to see what I could see. The sun was directly in front of me and it was forming a gleaming silver river of light across the blue water leading right to our cabin. At least it seemed like that. It was warm – mid 70’s – with a slight breeze from the motion of the ship. A couple small fair-weather cumulus clouds dotted the sky and there was not a sign of land or ship anywhere, just a straight line where the light blue sky met the gentle sea. I sat there a while contemplating my good fortune at being at this place at this time. The ship gently swayed beneath me and I closed my eyes and, as the hippies used to say, dug it all!
Finally I left the paradise of our balcony, cleaned up and grabbed a coffee from the Lido and again enjoyed the sunny morning on the balcony. We met Alice and Dan in the dining room for a sea-day brunch – a special meal they just served just on sea days. I had an omelet with bacon and cheese grits. We chatted with several couples at nearby tables and enjoyed the ambiance. The four of us then adjourned to the theater to watch our high energy CD Lee in the Fun Ashore, Fun Aboard show. I bailed out early, walked around the ship a bit and took some pictures, then went back to the cabin. I may have napped. Judy joined me later and, since it was approaching lunchtime, we headed back to the Lido. I selected the Indian food at the Tandoor spot. I like Indian food and it was pretty good. After lunch I split off from Judy and went to what they called a Veteran’s Table. This is where any vets onboard who want to attend sit at a table (or two tables as happened for us), drink some tea (it was tea time on the ship), eat some pastries and talk about military stuff. We used to call it “telling war stories” in the old days. For an hour or so we chatted about our times in the military and things we’d seen and done. Fascinating! I felt quite a part of a family sitting with my “brothers in arms”, listening to and telling tales. There were lots of heroes around that table that day, for sure.
That night was formal night in the MDR, where folks could dress up as fancy as they wanted. We put on our good duds and joined Alice and Dan and the rest of the well-dressed crowd. Lobster and prime rib were showcased for that meal and we all ate very well. It was amazing how snazzy we could all clean up! There was a Motown theme to the theatrical show that night and we attended after a quick visit back to the room where we put back on our comfy clothes. After the main show we went to the aft lounge for the late R-rated comedy show which was quite funny. Then back to the cabin to crash. Tomorrow would be Mexico!
Tuesday was another bright sunny day. This would be the rule for our trip that week. We were so lucky. We were done with breakfast around 10:30 and hit the gangway down to Costa Maya on Mexican soil around 12:30. I had booked us a day at a beach club called Tropicante just down the shore from the docks. If you’re familiar on how the ports for Carnival work, here’s the scoop. You generally dock at a long, long pier from which you have to walk to the port itself. Then you generally go through some sort of building where the local vendors get their first crack at you. Then you exit that area to another open air shopping area where there are many shops where you can buy all kinds of things. After walking through that you reach the entrance to the port itself. On land it was very hot and it was affecting Judy a lot. It crossed her mind to turn back to the ship and the a/c, but she pushed onwards and made it to the taxi stand (where we almost stepped on an iguana). We selected one (cab not iguana) and were driven to the resort.
Tropicante is on the beach with shaded and open sun seatings, a restaurant and bar, and many vendors walking by with items for sale. They weren’t pushy at all, so we just shook our heads no and continued enjoying our day as they passed by. We had beach loungers under coconut palm trees and a friendly waiter who came around often to ask if we needed anything – food, a drink, etc. It was a very pleasant place. I went out in the water for about an hour. It was warm, clear and very inviting. Our lunches were yummy – I had fish tacos and Judy fried fish and fries. Prices were quite reasonable and they didn’t charge for anything other than the food and drinks. Nice! I used sun block, but ended up getting a bit burned on my face and head anyway. Typical situation for me in the tropics. We enjoyed ourselves for the afternoon and then taxied back to the ship around 5:15. Dinner was again with our shipmates in the Scarlet. Or was it the Crimson? Damn. Anyway, I had a seafood-in-penne-pasta dish. It was OK, but I wouldn’t order it again. The drink waiter came around with shots and I purchased one. Kind of a Fireball-based concoction. Creamy yellow, quite hot and I got to keep the glass! Alice had stayed on the ship that day – not feeling well and her scooter was kaput – wouldn’t charge – and Dan had exited and done some shopping. We parted after talking a bit about the next day, which would be Mahogany Bay in Honduras.
On Wednesday we were up earlier as we would port around 8 am. I watched the trees and houses of Roatan Island drift by as the ship was maneuvering toward the dock, again glad for the front-row seat from our balcony. Alice and Dan had booked an island tour with us earlier, so they were raring to go. Due to her scooter dying, Alice had a Carnival employee push her in a wheelchair out of the ship, up the dock and through the shopping area to where there were cabs available to take us to where our independent tour was to depart. The independents were not allowed to be on the Carnival property to pick up business, so we had to go to them outside the gates. We got on a 10-seater van and started our tour of Roatan Island. We learned a lot of the history and geography of the island and of Honduras itself. Our driver warned us to not go to the mainland, as it was quite a dangerous place. He said that most of the drugs used in this hemisphere came through the Nicaragua/Honduran border. All politicians were corrupt also he said, even on the island. He also said that there were quite a few ex-pats living on the island – Americans, Brits and Italians. Their areas of the island are pretty nice and well kept, the rest not so much. After a while we stopped at their private “zoo” and were able to hold and interact with monkeys, macaws and sloths. Afterward we traveled to the West End beach where we were let off at the Bananarama beach resort for a 2-hour beach break. It was another beautiful place with palms and sand and clear Caribbean water. I took another dip and the water was a bit cooler than it was in Costa Maya but still pleasant after the heat of the day. After a half-hour and more sun, I went back to the shade with the other three. Pizza and a great mixed drink called a bananarama (go figure) made our lunch. Alice got her hair braided (also go figure). Then the van picked us up and, after a bumpy ride back (the roads are pretty miserable there), deposited us at the pier.
Supper that night was on the Lido deck at the buffet as none of us wanted a formal setting. Food was so-so. Judy and I stopped at the casino for a few minutes and dropped $20. We’re SUCH big spenders! We sat together on our balcony and watched the shopping area on the island after the cruisers had all left and gone back to their ships. It looked so empty and sad in the afternoon sunshine. We waved goodbye to Honduras as our ship pulled from the dock and headed north away from the island. We took in another show in the theater – 80’s theme this time with many cool affects – pyrotechnics, lasers, moving treadmills and rising/falling stages. Pretty cool!
Thursday would consist of several firsts for us. A new country – Belize. Our first tender port – where the ship anchored five miles from the port and we were ferried in and out by smaller boats. Our first Mayan ruins. I was really looking forward to it – Judy not so much. Tendering ended up being very easy. They extended a gangway from the ship to the smaller boat and we walked over. Easy-peasy. Of course the sea was pretty calm. Wouldn’t have been that simple if we had some 10-footers around! We got on busses at the port and started off on our exploration of Belize City. Our travel guide was a pretty Belizian lady who spoke perfect English with just a touch of the island patois. She told us LOTS of facts about her country. A few: it’s the only Central American country whose official language is English. It used to be British Honduras until the 70’s when it gained its independence and its new name. They have poisonous snakes, crocodiles and the largest population of manatees in the world. It used to be a big-time mahogany producer – used to log them in the mountains and float ‘em down the river to the sea. She even taught us some Creole words that the locals use among themselves. After seeing the city we rode about 45 minutes out to the Altun Ha Mayan ruins site. She turned us over to an Altun Ha guide who led us back to the site itself. Again we got lots of facts. Altun Ha was the only Mayan site where they did NO human sacrifices. They think it was because this site was a major religious place. There were several structures that had been excavated there, among them two pyramids that could be climbed.
I climbed the shorter of the two.
To experience how this procedure felt, go to the staircase in your home right now. Climb it, two steps at a time WITHOUT touching the railing. Make sure you climb 27 or more steps doing this. Then come down the same way, 2 steps at a time, no railing. Yes, not a whole lot of fun, eh? This 71-year-old was sure huffing and puffing after this adventure. You betcha! But finally this box was ticked off on my bucket list and I had a smile on my face after the feat even though I was knackered. I took a bunch of pictures and still had enough energy to walk back to the bus. I did end up dozing a bit on the ride back to the port though. Another fact passed on to us from the guide around then: ocelots, jaguars, pumas and other big cats were VERY common in the backcountry – like where we were near the ruins. The people living there would very often see them at night. Very often. Sometimes they’d even eat the livestock and the dogs. Really gave me a shudder thinking that those cats might even THEN be watching us from the encroaching jungle passing by our bus and licking their spiny whiskers. Brrr…!
The tender back to the ship was non-eventful. Judy and I celebrated the hot day by again getting an ice cream cone on the Lido. As we were beginning to be hungry, we had a Guy’s burger for lunch. Guy Fieri, a famous chef on the Food Channel, was chosen to put his name and his burger recipe to burger shops on Carnival ships. They are VERY good burgers! We enjoyed our all-American feasts to the last morsel. We returned to our balcony and watched the last tender boat pull away from the Dream and then watched us follow a Royal Caribbean ship leaving the docking area. We skipped out of the second formal night in the MDR (Scarlet?) and went to the Deli for a later supper. We weren’t too hungry after the Guy’s burger, so didn’t do much justice to our deli sandwiches. Walked to the theater then to watch that night’s production. It was called “Flick” and paid tribute to songs from movies. It was the best of the week! Very dramatic, exciting and entertaining. Quite tired afterward. Received word that Alice and Dan would not be joining us for our day at Nachi Cocum on Cozumel the next day, so we would be on our own. Then it was off to bed.
On Friday we were back in Mexico. Aiii cucaracha! Cozumel would be a repeat for us. We’d been there before about a decade ago, and were going back to the same beach resort we’d been to before – Nachi Cocum. This is an all-inclusive resort about 15 miles south of the port. It limits its customers to 100 or less per day, so it’s usually pretty quiet compared to some of the other resorts around. I exited the boat early by myself. I wanted to get a geocache and return for breakfast with Judy. I walked the long hot pier and into the hot shopping area before turning on my GPS. When I did I saw that the nearest geocache was 2 ½ miles away downtown. (We’d docked at the Puerto Maya pier, some ways from downtown.) Jeepers! I wasn’t walking 5 miles round trip to get a geocache or paying a cab to take me, so I returned to the ship and called it a no-go on the caching there. After breakfast we walked the pier, Judy for the first time that day and me the second. We went through the entrance building and into the shopping area. My lovely wife was again saying how hot it was, and yadda-yadda-yadda. I calmly (!?!?) told her that gee whiz, woman. It’s Mexico in the springtime. It’s supposed to be hot! Wait until July and August! Perhaps I could have been more understanding, but… Ya gotta tough some things out for the reward at the end. Gee whiz.
We cabbed out to the resort and yes, it’s still as nice as it was before – perhaps even nicer. Soft sandy beach, thatched palapas (big umbrellas) for shade, beach recliners, restaurant, bars, new restrooms and showers/changing rooms, a pool and hot tub. And to our delight, it was only about half full. Bad for them I suppose, but nice for us. We were led to our palapa and had our first drink of the day. I once again went into the water and enjoyed myself for a while. It was cooler than I would have liked, but after a few minutes it was quite OK. Then back to the lounger, another drink and a lovely lunch of broiled grouper with sides of rice and veggies. VERY good. Also had a shrimp cocktail and it was absolutely wonderful! The cocktail sauce in which the shrimp were immersed was truly something to write home about. Judy had chips and salsa with her lunch and I tried the salsa. I immediately warned her about it after one bite. It was HOT! Of course I had to eat most of it and suffered for a while from the ol’ tongue burn! After I ate I went to the swimming pool then the hot tub. The latter really hit the spot and I ended up spending some real quality time in there. It was a quiet and peaceful day.
We were back on the ship by 2 p.m. after making a few purchases in the shopping area at the dock. Vanilla was a priority, of course, this time for Judy’s sister and my brother Chuck – we still had a big bottle from a previous trip. I asked Judy if she wanted to shop for some silver jewelry then as Cozumel is the place to get it. She declined. I guess I’m lucky she’s not that into jewelry. Back on the ship we enjoyed the a/c and another ice cream cone. Not good for me, really, but this indulgence all stops in a day or two. The ship pulled away from the dock around 5 and we offloaded the pilot about 15 minutes later. We ate again in the MDR (some sort of red) and caught up with Dan and Alice. I had Veal Parmesan with spaghetti and Judy a pork chop. Dan had been ashore that day and done some shopping, Alice had not. We found out that there had been a flood on the ship the other day. We didn’t know about it. It was on deck 9, port side. We were on deck 8, port side and were oblivious. It was a broken water line that flooded a hallway and a number of cabins. It was soon fixed and the clean-up was mostly done in about a day or day-and-a-half. They even replaced most of the carpeting in the damp areas. Two passengers decided to go home early because of the water, but the rest stayed on and were rewarded by having their cruises paid for and half of their next one. Carnival’s real good about stuff like that.
The ship was rocking a bit that evening and that made for a great night for sleeping. Obviously I have no problem with seasickness. PS. I take Bonine just in case!
Saturday was our last full day of the cruise. It was inherently sad, of course, but I believe Judy and I were about ready for land and the trip home. I was VERY tired last night. We went to the theater for the performance about Rock music. It was loud, but even with the volume I still kept nodding. We had planned on going to the comedy club again, but I begged off and dropped like a rock.
The ship was still bouncing around a little that morning, but we’d become quite used to the motion by then. To add a big punctuation mark to the cruise, the sun was again shining down on us as we sailed through the Gulf of Mexico again, this time homeward bound. As we worked our way through packing our luggage for the next day’s departure, I gave some thought about our week’s adventure. Had the preceding days been worth it? Did they matter in the big picture? I of course answered myself with a big SURE! Of course there had been some down times to go along with the ups. Damaging the car was a bummer of course. Toughing our way through numerous traffic jams wasn’t fun in any respect nor was the brutal heat in various places. It was also sad Alice’s buggy died and she wasn’t able to quite do all she wanted, but she did get a fair amount done anyway. On the flip side, we saw some exceedingly lovely tropical places, met some great people, ate very, very well and lived what many would consider la dolce vita - “the good life” for a while. We again saw how some of the other folks in the world lived and a lot of that again made us thankful for all our blessings.
All in all, it was a nice vacation.
By the way, that sunny day sailing the Gulf of Mexico was Cinco de Mayo and that meant party time on the Dream. Seems like there were a LOT of reasons for parties on Carnival.
We attended the debarkation talk with Lee the CD. He seemed to be everywhere this trip! We needed to be out of our stateroom by 8 am the next morning to give the steward time to freshen it up for the next guest. We’d wait in the aft lounge until our debarkation group number was called then proceed to the gangway and onward through customs and back to our car in the garage.
We had lunch that day up on the Lido deck again. I told Judy that I was having Indian food and what did she want to get? She answered, “Not Indian!” I laughed. (She’s not a fan) We noshed our lunches and also grabbed a selection from the chocolate buffet. That was a selection of chocolate baked goodies they present the last day on the ship. After chocolotizing ourselves, we wandered back to the theater where Lee (remember him?) along with the hotel director and the entertainment director were available for a q & a session. Lots of interesting questions were asked and answered along with a detailed explanation on the flooding of deck 9 several days before. We heard the TRUE story, not the fantasy you saw on some social media. We then stuck around for the $5,000 bingo game. We played and guess what? We didn’t win! Surprise! Oh well. Judy and I had Miami Vice cocktails about then and they were mmmmm good! We got back to the room soon after and saw a box on our table and it had three full bottles of whiskey in it! Three full bottles of the good stuff. Obviously delivered to the wrong cabin. We called our steward and had it whisked away (and hopefully delivered to the correct recipient this time). I am constantly amazed by my honesty!
Supper was prime rib tonight (for me) and other goodies for my shipmates. Baked Alaska was our dessert and it was quite good. We tipped extra to our room steward and to our restaurant guys. At the end of the meal the whole dining room staff sang the “Leaving on a Fun Ship” song (to the tune of Leaving on a Jet Plane) and it was so sad as it always is. We’d had such a good time and it was now drawing to a close.
We returned to our room, finished packing the bags that would be carried off the ship that night for us and put them in the hallway. Then we sat on our much-beloved balcony and watched the sun go down. That evening we walked to the casino and played slots a little more. I ended up about $60 to the good, making up for the $20 from before and the $20 for that night. It’s always nice to be on the plus side in the casino. Then we took in the last comedy show of the trip and one more drink – this one on the house for us as GOLD card folks. The comedian was quite a funny man, but the bed was calling our names and soon we were snoozing.
Sunday we debarked from our fun ship. Out of the room by 8 am. Waited in the lounge for our number to be called. Off the ship by 9:15 and in our car by 9:30. An excellent debarkation.
I could sit here and talk about the next two days also, but be assured it was long stretches of driving, short rest stops and a nice hotel near Nashville at the halfway home point. We eventually arrived home in the early evening of Monday, tired but happy to be home where our son and our dog were waiting.
If you’ve followed along this far, gentle reader, what do you think? Sound like fun? If so, I’ll give you the phone number of Eric, our Carnival PVP, Personal Vacation Planner, and he’ll get ya all set up. If you haven’t done this before, give ‘er a try.
I always seem to get a bit emotional and have deep thoughts after a good time like this. Was it worth it? Did I enjoy it? Will I do it again? And the one that’s the biggest of all now days: How many more of these do I have left? Will I be around to cruise some more? Do I have one more in me? Five more? Or more? I’m no longer a youngster you know and the health issues of mine, my wife and our friends have become more and more relevant in selecting vacations. I guess, when all is said and done, all I can do is be thankful for what I’ve had and be hopeful for what’s ahead. As we like to say around these parts, “If the Lord’s willin’ and the creek don’t rise.” And if that’s the case my friend, maybe I’ll see you on a Lido deck sometime in the near future. I’ll buy you a drink, you’ll buy me one and we can both watch the blue, blue water of some tropical ocean flow by the sleek hull of our wonderful fun ship.
Two Years In
Exactly two years ago today I was on a gurney and being wheeled into an operating room at Aultman Hospital in Canton, Ohio. I had experienced moderate chest pains three days before, on the 19th, and had called the rescue squad to carry me to our local hospital where, after examination and some blood tests it was verified that I had experienced a heart attack. After a heart catherization they saw I had several blocked coronary arteries and that those arteries were too blocked for stenting to be accomplished.
I was on my way to open-heart bypass surgery.
I won’t go into any great detail about the run up to the operation, the surgery itself or the recovery. I covered most of that in a couple previous blogs not long after they happened. Needless to say now, I got through the operation in decent shape and the recovery went as anticipated.
I am now at the second anniversary of that surgery and believe it’s about time for a little reflection. About time to do some thinking about those days, to compare them to how my life is going now and to contemplate the years to come.
At this point you could ask, “So amigo, how are things going?”
Before answering you I sit here thinking about that very question and wondering how to answer. Incredibly it’s been over 700 days since that dark February two years ago.
“I’m doing pretty well”, I guess would be the short and sweet answer. I have no chest pain. I really don’t have anything to cause any concern about my heart at the moment. Really! At least other than the still vivid memory of how scared I was two years ago. Plus how “gun shy” I have become about ANY slight twinge, pain, ache or phantom glitch in my chest area. Hell, actually anywhere from my adam’s apple to my belly button! I am, of course, reminded daily of that surgery by the physical scars on my chest. I still wince a bit when I see myself in a mirror. The mind has a habit of forgetting the bad days, but the mirror doesn’t lie. It’s right there etched in the glass. There’s no question at all whether that commotion two years ago was all a dream when I see that.
No question at all.
I do have some ongoing medical issues, however, that I’d like to share if you’re up to reading about them. If you’d rather not, then adios my friend and may we meet again soon.
Can these present issues be attributable to my heart problems? I guess “maybe” would be a good response to that one. I have some IBS nowadays that enjoys causing me misery off and on. The symptoms are generally an upset stomach and varying degrees of nausea. Or maybe I’ll have some odd twinges or pains in my stomach/chest area at strange times. (Please see the previous paragraph about twinges, pains and etc.) Do you know how close your heart is to your stomach? Pretty darn close!
Anyhow, I’ve got a good GI doctor now, hopefully, and we’re working on doing what we can. I’ve presently got a list of foods that I should not eat or at least should eat sparingly. You could look up FODMAPS online and get a feel for what I’m talking about. Plus I have a list of foods that I should be eating, so I am trying to comply with the doctor’s wishes by eating more from the “good” list and less from the “bad”. But some of the “probably should stay away from” foods on the FODMAP list have been staples for me for so long, it’s difficult to entirely stop eating them. And their effect on me varies from none at all to quite a bit. So eating is a roll of the dice a lot of times. Was this particular twinge, pain, ache or discomfort caused by the heart problem? Probably not. Probably just gas passing through the stomach and beyond or, as Ebeneezer Scrooge thought in A Christmas Carol, “You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!” But the brain is also an organ involved in this process and it likes to jump to conclusions not necessarily rooted in fact.
I have problems time to time with not being able to taste food. Again, it’s not all the time. Just hit and miss. Some days food tastes fine – quite normal actually. Other times there’s not much taste there at all. On those days either the food’s taste is almost nonexistent or it has evolved into active nastiness. Again, is this caused by the heart problem? Possibly. A better guess would be it’s just one of the joys of getting older.
Another disconcerting thing about my health is something that was discovered while researching my stomach issues. A CRT scan found that I have an abdominal aortic aneurysm. A bulging aorta down in my belly. They reported the bulge as being of a certain length. From what I’ve learned, it has to be somewhat longer than that before anything will be done to fix it. It’s one of those “wait and watch” kind of deals. My cardiologist doesn’t seem too terribly concerned about it, so I try to go along with him and not worry. Ha! Worrying is something I do VERY well! Besides, it’s not HIS aorta that has the bulge! Anyhow, I’ll make sure to get it checked yearly and hope it doesn’t grow. But it’s there and I know it. Was this abnormality also attributable to the heart problem? From some research I’ve done on the Internet it was more likely a byproduct of the years I spent smoking cigarettes. Another fun thing you don’t know about which smoking does to you. I quit that nasty habit many years ago, but the manifold rewards of tobacco usage just keep rolling in.
So that’s the downside at the present time, pretty much. And what’s the upside?
Well, I guess still being among the living would be the biggest one. Life is good as the old adage says. I’m still able to take our dog for walks, still able to enjoy the sunny days along with the rainy and snowy ones. I still enjoy the fruits of retirement, getting out of bed in the morning at a time of my choosing, traveling and having good times with family and friends. My wife and I get enjoyment out of our exercise classes and sweating with our fellow old fogies that are there.
I guess just being thankful for all the good things that I can still enjoy even though there are the occasional aches, pains and other limitations from time to time.
I suppose you could call today actually a Thanksgiving of sorts. Even more so than the holiday of the same name, this Thanksgiving has definite personal significance.
To be honest my friends, I’ve been very lucky. I’ve attained an age that other folks, probably more deservedly than me, have been denied. My wife and I have put away enough pennies to make our retirement comfortable. My sleep may be interrupted by the call of nature most nights, but I do wake up each morning and am ready for the new day to start.
So another anniversary rolls around and another personal Thanksgiving is attained. For that I am thankful.
And always more eager for the next chapter to begin!
Expiration Date
Thanksgiving this year was a good one for our family. Everyone living in this household was in decent health for their age, the wife and I were enjoying our retirement and my son was happy in his job and in his life as a whole. We’d invited good friends to share our Thanksgiving feast with us and it was a good one. My wife outdid herself once again with the turkey, the mashed potatoes, dressing and gravy, two vegetable casseroles, fresh rolls with butter, etc and etc. Our family and our guests were happily full after eating and all was right with the world, at least for that day. We all were appropriately thankful for the blessings we had enjoyed and it was, everything considered and all in all, a nice day.
But that Thanksgiving had a deeper meaning this year, which I wasn’t aware of until just recently. Come along and let me explain.
It’s always a good thing, at least in my book, when a city doesn’t demolish an old building with all its interesting history and make a new parking lot. Don’t get me wrong, parking lots are needed and it’s occasionally necessary to bid adieu to an older building to create one, but it’s a wonderful thing when an old building can be repaired, repurposed and given a new life.
One instance of this occurring happened recently in my small town. A semi-derelict building down by the railroad tracks on South Street, whom most figured was destined for the wrecking ball and the landfill was purchased, repaired and now is being used as a brand-new micro-distillery. Two local entrepreneurs with several going businesses under their belts formed a partnership, saw the potential, bought and fixed up the building and started making rye whiskey and other handcrafted spirits.
Its name was and still is Minglewood.
This particular company has a long history. It was started in 1921 when the building was erected to serve as a coal delivery company. The following year they expanded and started also making and delivering ice in 25 to 100 pound blocks. They would deliver this ice and coal in horse-drawn wagons in those early days. Minglewood served my hometown and many surrounding communities with ice and coal for 38 years until modern refrigeration and heating changed the industry and closed the business. The two entrepreneurs recently saw the history and potential in the building in 2016 when they purchased it and started their new enterprise.
How all is this connected to my family you may ask? Well, to answer ya, my grandfather worked at Minglewood from the mid-1920’s through the end of World War II as an iceman! He was one of the gentlemen who loaded up the truck with ice in the mornings and delivered it to businesses and homes far and wide. His particular route was to the outlying communities beyond the city limits of our hometown. He would run his route looking at the homes and businesses along the way and when he saw the placard in the window requesting ice, he would stop and deliver the requested size block for the home’s icebox. He was a man of smaller stature, but very strong from the work he performed each day.
And, again, how does this tie into last Thanksgiving? Well, sometime during my grandfather’s employment at Minglewood, there were several pictures taken of him and his fellow workers – the icemen and the coal men. Through some means, which I don’t really remember, I have several of these photographs in my possession. Actually I have three of them right in front of me. There is a fourth one also, of that I’m positive, and that is the one I’ve been recently trying to find. I thought it might be a great idea to donate these pictures to the new Minglewood and possibly get them hung up on their walls! And grandpa would be back at the old place again!
But up to now I’ve been unable to find that pesky fourth photo.
I’ve gone through ALL of my photos the last couple days looking and I’ve got THOUSANDS of the darn things. I can kind of visualize a small packet of the 3 or 4 photos and maybe even the negatives also.
Tucked in somewhere…
So I’m now looking in places where there shouldn’t be photos. And finding the occasional one hiding here and there. But not the darn target I’m seeking.
But that still doesn’t lead us to last Thanksgiving, does it? We’re getting there. Be patient.
While perusing those multitudes of photos from bygone days, I ran across the packet that had the clippings and sympathy cards from when my father and brother had passed away. It was sobering seeing those items again and it was hard not to remember how sad it was when those events happened. And while I was looking at my dad’s obituary from the local paper in that packet of photos it occurred to me that I was close to being the same age as he was when he passed.
And I wondered how close.
I took his date of birth and date of death from the obit and put them into a program online that calculates elapsed time. It showed me that my dad lived 70 years, 8 months and 13 days. Then I inputted my birthday and calculated forward 70 years, 8 months and 13 days. The date I attained my dad’s length of life was Thanksgiving. Just a week or so ago.
Now isn’t that something! I’m presently older than my dad ever was! I suppose it’s some sort of a grand milestone in the larger scheme of things. Beating your father in the game of life. I’d already beat my mom in that contest as she passed away very young at 51. I also passed my next younger brother who died in his early 40’s. And of course my next youngest brother – the one that’s still with us - well I’ll always be older than him. I guess that makes me kind of the patriarch of my family, the old man.
It wasn’t hard achieving this honor. I just kept breathing.
And life goes on and every day I’m one day older than my dad ever was.
Every. Single. Day.
And it makes it hard not to wonder when this old bag of bones’ expiration date might be.
Or where that miserable fourth photo might be hiding…
The Old Hard Sell
I suppose I should have known better and not have been so naive. Surely. Ok, if truth was to be told, I probably did know better. I am a man of three score and ten, so I should have been dubious and refused the request. Doggone it, I should have been a whole lot smarter. But… For a moment there my resolve weakened and said OK. And the groundwork for the “incident” was laid.
I guess a little background is in order: We get a lot of phone calls here at the house from unknown (to us) callers. The caller id said various things, none of which were names of people we know or stores we do business with – doctors, dentists, business places, etc. So we usually let the answering machine pick up and usually the caller hangs up without a message. I figure most were sales calls. Unless, of course, it’s political in nature and those critters ALWAYS have something to say. So when we got a call from someone who purported to be an insurance agent from a company we HAD done business with in the past, we listened to their message a bit closer. Actually this was about the third or fourth call leaving us a message from this company (we’re fast on the delete key) and was the first one we really listened closely to. It was from a life insurance company that we had a policy or two with and they wanted to “update their records” on us.
Uh-huh, the ol’ “update your records” ploy.
In retrospect, of course it was a bit fishy. We hadn’t moved our residence or changed our phone number in decades.
They should have known that. Obviously.
In any event, they apparently caught us in a weak moment and we called them back. They didn’t want to update their records about us over the phone and, of course, that was another red flag. They wanted to come to our house.
Living possibly still in that weak moment, I agreed and set up an appointment to talk with them a few days later.
To speak well of this company, which in all fairness I feel compelled to do, we had dealt with one of their representatives a few years ago and were more than happy with her. This saleslady was upbeat, friendly, more than happy to go over all our life insurance policies and especially over our policy with her company. When she patiently explained some facts to us, we changed some things and gave her more business. It was a fine interaction and it left a good impression of the company. And a good taste in our mouth. I’ve sold stuff in the past and have studied in college what makes a good salesman. She was one of the good ones.
A few days later the doorbell rang and we opened it to the new representative of this company and he was DEFINITELY not one of the good ones.
Please bear with me as I’m going to try to remain calm for the rest of this blog although it isn’t going to be easy. Here we go…
Salesman X came into the house and with him was Trainee Y. The salesman was pudgy and irritated looking with wrinkled business clothes with a sour aura of peevishness. I got the impression that his being in my home was not his idea of a pleasant thing to do on this glorious day. They swept in like Captain Bligh upon his quarterdeck with his lieutenant and barked a question about where he could plug in his laptop. I led them to our dining room, turned on the main lights and helped him power his computer.
He did not look friendly in any aspect and the scowl on his face never left for the duration of their stay.
It reminded me of someone who smelled something foul.
I laid our policy with his company next to him on the dining room table and attempted to make some small talk while he booted up his laptop. He mostly ignored my attempts at conversation. Finally he must have reached our records on his computer when he started into a sales pitch. I stopped him soon enough and politely asked what updates they needed from us. I reminded him that was what he was there for. Apparently (I’m sure you saw this coming) they really didn’t need an update, this was a sales call. He ignored my query and started on with the sales pitch and then asked something about “neither one of you has been sick recently, right?” and he glared at us. I told him I had a heart attack about two years ago followed by bypass surgery. This would have been a good time for any decent salesman to offer some words of sympathy and compassion. Instead he looked at me like I’d crawled out from under a rock and flatly said “we couldn’t do anything for you”, then turned his attention to my wife, utterly ignoring me. He stated that for X number of dollars, which amounted to about 3 times what we were paying for her present policy, he could cover her “nicely” and her final expenses would be fully covered.
My wife and I looked at each other. Her face was red and she was struggling to speak. I told Salesman X that this was not anything we wanted and that we were retired, living on a fixed income and just couldn’t afford it. He snorted and did some recalculations. He then said, “for this new amount she could get mostly covered.” I think he referred to the insurance as the “silver -level” coverage where the previous quote was for the “gold-level”. This number was still about double what we were paying.
My wife was still shaking her head no and I could feel her vibes for me to get rid of this toad when I said to the salesman that we were OK with what we had and that we would not be interested in any upgrades that day. I suggested that perhaps we were done with this visit.
He then grunted some more, did some more calculations on his scratch sheet and said for this new lesser amount, the “bronze-level” or something like that she could… and then he went on and on with more of the high pressure pitch. My face was then as red as my wife’s when I finally said “Enough! This visit is OVER! Pack up your crap and get out!”
Yes, I yelled at him. I yelled at him to leave my house immediately, called him a few choice expletives then walked to the door and held it open. I told him as he left to NEVER call us or come to the house again.
I’ve only been angrier a couple other times in my life. I literally wanted to kick him as he was leaving and only JUST held back. He was SUCH a loathsome example of a human being. So smug and condescending to us “little folks” it seemed. We were SO stupid not to want his largess.
I definitely wanted to report him to his company for his disgusting visit. When I looked out on the internet to find who to gripe to I began to read in the Better Business site all the other remarks from all the other people who had the same sort of interaction with this company’s salesmen. There were even many stories of people who tried to sell for this company and how they got shafted and belittled themselves. I figured my little message would just get lost in the clutter of the dozens (hundreds?) of other tales of misery.
I still find it difficult to recall that visit without muttering curses under my breath. That bastard was SUCH a prime example of the disgusting hard-sell S.O.B.
And kicking him out of my house while yelling at him felt SO DAMN GOOD!
If it weren’t for the dynamite sales girl who had visited us earlier and treated us so well, I’d tell you the name of the insurance company right now. But, if the impossible is still possible and she is still working for them, I think I’ll let the name go. She needs all the help she can get.
Just a hint though. This company is NOT represented on TV by a duck or a gecko.
Fun in the Sun
If you ask me, I think autumn is probably the nicest time to go. Many of the tourists are gone, the weather (barring the occasional hurricane) is still beautiful and the majority of the kids are back in school. The hotels have also lowered their rates by a substantial amount and most of the attractions and restaurants are still open. All these items are definitely pluses.
Of course I’m talking about Myrtle Beach in case you might be still wondering.
My wife and I drove down there recently for a few days to soak up the sun, look around at a few attractions that we might have missed in our many previous trips down there and to enjoy a few days away from the same old, same old of home life. Yes, this is another “what we did on summer vacation” type of blog. Follow along if you’re curious.
Since Myrtle Beach is, per Mapquest, all of 700 miles away and 10 ½ driving hours down the road, we left early on our travel Sunday – around 6 am. It’s dark then this time of year, late September, so we carefully made our way down the highway, following the light from our headlights and munching on a few doughnuts to satisfy our vacation sweet tooth. I was smart and had borrowed a talking book from our local library the day before and we listened to it while driving. It’s amazing how the sound of a voice reading a book can make the miles melt away on those long road trips. All the familiar waypoints were achieved and then were soon lost in our rear view mirror. Marietta, Charleston, Bluefield, Wytheville, Pilot Rock, Winston-Salem and finally the long flat run across the Tidewater Plain to the Grand Strand. It was a long day for two old birds like my better half and me, but the payoff was the sight of the wide Atlantic and our roomy ocean-view hotel room.
We stayed at a place we’d vacationed at before, one of the many Best Western hotels, and a place we’d really enjoyed. This particular trip was going to be for five nights. We slept snugly Sunday night in our hotel room after the long day driving, listening to the quiet sounds of the ocean lapping on the sandy beach.
That Monday started out somewhat gray. There was a hurricane, as you may recall, still sitting out at sea, northeast from our vantage point, and it was still affecting our weather a bit. Luckily it was moving away from us and the proverbial Carolina blue sky would be returning later on in the afternoon. We ate breakfast at the hotel and it was quite decent for hotel breakfasts with scrambled eggs, a variety of meats, breads, waffles, cereals, juices, coffee, etc. We hit the place most mornings we were there and it was quite handy. In the early afternoon that day we headed down to Myrtle Beach proper (we were staying in North Myrtle Beach), parked the car and wandered around a bit. We noticed some subtle (and some not-so-subtle) damage around town from the near miss Myrtle Beach had suffered from the latest hurricane – some business sign and tree damage here and there along with some minor damage to some buildings. We rode the new Ferris Wheel they’ve erected there which is called the Skywheel and which extends almost 200 feet up into the now plentiful sunshine. The view from the top was quite extensive and we enjoyed taking many pictures from up there. Then it was lunchtime on the boardwalk at one of the local eateries. We also made time to shop at one of Myrtle Beach’s most venerable souvenir shops, the Gay Dolphin, where we helped support the local economy by getting the usual tee-shirts and a few other “must haves” from this multi-level institution on the main drag. We returned to the hotel then and I did some metal detecting on the beach. I’d looked forward to doing that for months, but was disappointed on how little I found out there. The beach seemed mostly devoid of any metallic “treasures” this trip. Not really sure why. I know they groom the beaches at night with machinery, to pick up the trash, so most of the dropped “goodies” might have been already scooped up. Supper was at a newer Mexican place. Very hip and contemporary, but the food was nothing to write home about.
Tuesday I’d booked us on a boat tour on the Waccamaw River. The boat we cruised on was of the pontoon variety, seated about 30 folks, two crewmen and a friendly Rottweiler dog named, appropriately, River! We motored down the Waccamaw and through parts of the Intercoastal Waterway, seeing various examples of the local wildlife and plant life and enjoying a very pleasant boat ride through some very nice scenery. The dog had obviously been on this trip many, many times and Judy enjoyed petting her as she walked up and down the boat checking out the passengers. The river area we cruised in is home to a lot of ospreys and we saw many of their nests. The majority of the birds themselves, however, had already flown south for the winter. We did however, see one osprey flying around and the guide on the boat said it was probably from somewhere “up north” and was itself, heading south. We looked hard for some alligators and did see a smallish one (six feet) from a distance swimming. The day was picture perfect, blue skies and puffy cumulus clouds, as were all the following days we were in South Carolina.
Wednesday was our “trip to Charleston” day. We ate breakfast at the hotel again not long after they opened at 6 a.m., then drove down the hundred-plus miles to Charleston for the first of two tours I had scheduled. It was a horse-drawn carriage ride around downtown. Our carriage carried about 10 of us and was pulled by two spotted horses named Yogi and Boo-boo! They weren’t full draft horses but were bigger than just standard horses. Our guide told us many stories about the city as we clip-clopped around. It was quite interesting seeing the things she was talking about and hearing about the history of the area. We also noticed evidence of some hurricane damage – a lot of construction going on at some of the residences and also some plywood sheets still on the windows that hadn’t been removed yet. After that we drove to the Ft. Sumter pier and caught a ferry out to the island. The fort and the pier are both U.S. National Parks. We ambled around the old fort for a hour or so and checked out the little museum and the gift shop they had there. Lots of history in those crumbly brick walls and old cannons and the great view from the top encompassed most of Charleston Harbor. We were hot and thirsty when we returned to the ferry, so we bought some VERY welcome soft drinks for the run back to the mainland. After returning back to North Myrtle Beach and our hotel, we ate at a local restaurant we remembered from a previous trip and it was just as good as we recalled. (Remember the name “Hoskins” if you’re ever in the area.) Fresh seafood was their specialty and, since it was kind of a local hangout but still serving lots of tourists, not too expensive! Flounder for me and shrimp for Judy. Yumm! Myrtle Beach and South Carolina really showed their stuff today!
We had nothing formal planned for Thursday, so we woke a bit later than normal and had breakfast at a “real” restaurant for a change. After eggs and pancakes and bacon we drove down to Broadway at the Beach – a big shopping/restaurant/entertainment complex some miles south of where we were staying. We walked around there for a while, but it was REALLY hot that early afternoon, so we spent most of the time in the stores where the a/c was very welcome. We ended up just getting some fudge and taffy to take home with us and then adjourned back to the coolness of the hotel. We enjoyed watching some parasailors floating behind their towboat out in the ocean from our balcony. And also some banana boat riders being bounced around on the Atlantic. I hopped down to the hotel’s pool for a while, cooling off mainly, and then lay out in the sun to dry off. And to get a bit sunburned as I discovered when I returned to our room! Myrtle Beach is semi-tropical and the sun is quite strong there. We had Sonic for a late lunch and when we returned to the hotel, we saw someone was setting up a flowered alter on the beach for a wedding! We watched from the balcony as the ceremony progressed and when the minister finally pronounced the happy couple man and wife, everyone applauded and hollered including most of the folks staying at our hotel who’d been watching from their balconies! It was a nice finish to a sweet week on the beach. Supper was at the K&W Cafeteria, a local chain we’d been eating at since the mid-70’s. Then we did some packing for tomorrow’s departure.
Friday was another early day for us. Checking out in the humid semi-darkness of a beachside morning and back on the road again, north this time. We listened to the rest of the talking book driving back and it was very instrumental in making the many miles go by quickly.
Going to Myrtle Beach was a bit of a pilgrimage for us. We’d started going there not long after we got married, in the mid-70’s, and probably had a dozen or more trips under our belts over the years. We drove around one day this time and kept remembering places where we’d stayed, restaurants we’d eaten at, how this and that had changed, how much this sort of sleepy seaside town of 40-some years ago had grown and grown over the intervening years. It was nice to see it again and to enjoy the welcoming of the people and of the place itself.
