Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It's All Relative


It's All Relative





I guess I've never been very interested in genealogy.


It seemed to me that genealogy mostly consisted of a whole lot of research in musty library files, hours and hours of peering at fuzzy documents retrieved from the Internet and driving around looking at tombstones in creepy cemeteries both near and far. And then, after all that research, gathering and collating histories of people's births, deaths, children, professions, residences, achievements, etc., then drawing up complicated tree-like diagrams of old-time relatives and other semi-boring activities. A lot of work.


Just didn't seem very relevant or very important. At least to me.


Oh sure, I guess you could say genealogy had touched me a couple times in the past. One of my uncles or great-uncles had hired someone or figured out himself when my ancestors (on my father's side) had come to America and from where. It was kinda interesting in a passing sort of way. By the way it was Germany and 1709. Don't you feel better? Also, a number of years ago some group was gathering information on families in the county where I live. They were to have it published in a history of our county and wanted input from as many families in the area as possible. I gathered the data for all of my paternal relatives, from my grandparents down to the children of my generation, wrote this up in a narrative and submitted it to the gathering agency and it was eventually published.


My wife's family had done some genealogical research also and had found some connections to a previous governor of Ohio and a direct link back to Harriet Beecher Stowe, the author of “Uncle Tom's Cabin”. One of Harriet's brothers was the direct ancestor of my wife. That was pretty cool.


But, other than that, I'd not been a genealogy buff. At least not until I received an unexpected email from a relative I didn't know I had.


My maternal grandmother (my mom's mom) was one of four children. Her name was Ola and she was the eldest. She had two younger sisters, Dorothy and Pearl, and a brother Etsel, who was the youngest of the siblings. Etsel had two children, Donald and Lorraine. Lorraine is about ten years older than me and was the sender of the email I received a couple of years ago. Turns out that she is my second cousin.


Lorraine was doing some genealogical research and had ran across my name on the Internet. She knew her aunt's (my grandmother) daughter had married a man by that name and she knew the city where that had occurred. So she took a blind stab and sent me an email and asked if I was related to her aunt.


It was a lucky guess.


Anyhow, after I'd acknowledged that she'd contacted the correct person, she sent me another email and asked if I wanted to get reacquainted with her and maybe have a little reunion? She's the last of my mother's generation, if you want to look at it that way, children of my grandmother and her siblings, and she wanted to see me. She actually remembered me from when I was a little kid and my family had traveled to Pittsburgh to see their family for some grown-up reason not shared with the kids. She was a teen at that time. I must have been a bratty kid for her to remember me from all those years ago.


So, after a number of getting-acquainted emails were sent back and forth, my wife and I agreed to meet them at their home near Youngstown, Ohio. We were planning an overnight trip to the casino and dog track in Wheeling, West Virginia anyway, and we figured we could stop at their home and visit with her and her husband John on our way there. A two-birds-with-one-stone kind of deal.


We arrived in their suburb of Youngstown on a sunny Saturday and Lorraine and John came out onto their porch to greet us. When I saw her face and heard her voice I was immediately aware that she was family! The familial resemblance was very apparent and the voice, even through the noticeable western Pennsylvania accent (their previous long-time home), was unmistakably family. She sounded exactly like my mom/grandmother/aunts all rolled together – it was uncanny. And it was great having a “new” relative to talk to and get to know! I'd forgotten somewhat how my mom and her side of the family talked and looked and gestured as they'd been gone a long time. But there was no need to study her and learn her persona. It was already imprinted in my genes and she was as familiar to me as my own reflection in the mirror.


How great was that!


We sat and talked for hours, getting to know each other, reminiscing about family long gone, looking at scrapbooks and photo albums of our relatives. It was a warm, cozy afternoon and my wife and I enjoyed it immensely! Lorraine's mother lives with her and John and she also joined into the conversation from time to time with her memories and anecdotes. For a lady of her advanced age, she was lively, alert and a joy to be around. Her husband John was also quite a character in his own right and it was my great pleasure to meet him and to bond a bit with him, man to man. I like to think he enjoyed my company as much as I certainly enjoyed his.


I know she's my second cousin and all that, but Lorraine and John felt like a favorite aunt and uncle. We clicked and connected on a lot of levels that day. It was a homecoming.


We visited again once or twice more at her home, a couple times at the Wheeling Casino and Racetrack (they're casino and race fans also), and once at my house. I got to meet her daughter Cindy and her new husband Mike, a very nice couple. We shared some meals, some hours and a lot of love.


The last time we were to visit with them they promised my wife and I a treat. They were going to take us to their old stomping grounds, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I hadn't been there since that day long ago when I was a kid, and my wife had never been there. So we accepted and could hardly wait for the day to come around.


On August 4 this year we arrived at their house around 9 o'clock and quickly piled into their car for the journey to Pittsburgh. They took a rambling east-bound route that morning and pointed out to us various places that were important to them, everything from favorite restaurants and places they'd made good buys at garage sales to previous homes and the site of a horrendous airline crash on a mountain outside Pittsburgh. After enjoying the circuitous route and the fascinating travelogue from Lorraine and John, we at last arrived at the Steel City and parked near the Gateway Clipper Landing on the South side of town next to the Monongahela River. We wandered down to the boat dock and spent a pleasant period of time chatting while we waited for our ship to return to the pier from a previous cruise. Finally our ship, the Keystone Belle, arrived and we boarded for our one-hour sight-seeing cruise. I kept my camera busy taking shots as the ship cruised up the Monongahela, then turned and headed down that river and into the Ohio River. It then turned up the Allegheny for a while, then turned and made its way back to the dock via the Ohio and Monongahela again. We saw many sights on the cruise including the incline railroads going up Mt. Washington, the skyscrapers of the downtown, PNC Park where the Pirates play, Heinz Field where the Steelers play, numerous bridges of varying ages and other fascinating sights along the Three Rivers. The narrator on the ship was interesting and informative. John and Lorraine augmented the narrator with many of their own stories and recollections about the sights that were passing by during the trip.


I took lots of pictures!


After returning to the dock we walked over to a stop on the 'T', the Pittsburgh subway, and caught a train for downtown. It was only a few minutes ride, it was free as we were all “seniors” and it brought us within a few blocks of the restaurant John and Lorraine wanted to take us to, The Original Oyster House. This bar and restaurant is the oldest in Pittsburgh and was founded in 1870. It's an unpretentious place with a predominantly seafood menu with absolutely enormous fish sandwiches. I ordered a regular fish sandwich, which is called a Jumbo and it was huge. John ordered the MONSTER fish sandwich (he's a self-admitted addict for them) and it dwarfed mine! Amazing! We enjoyed our lunches (we were HUNGRY) and soon were back on the busy streets of Pittsburgh. John and Lorraine guided us around some of the city, pointing out sights and places of their younger days when they worked there and nearby. After some time walking around downtown we again caught the 'T' and rode back to the “south side” where our car was parked. But before leaving, we rode the funicular up to the top of Mt. Washington to see the sights and take some more pictures. It's a great place to take in the whole downtown Pittsburgh vista and the ride up the steeply inclined railroad was lots of fun!


(John and Judy were not particular fans of the vertiginous railroad!)


After returning to the car, John drove another roundabout way back toward their home, visiting several other communities in Pennsylvania where he and Lorraine had lived and worked. We also visited a cemetery where Lorraine's brother Don and her father Etsel were laid to rest.


On our return to their home, Lorraine served us a homemade raisin and nut cake that was rich and dense and scrumptious! She was even kind enough to cut some slices for us to take home.


After bidding a fond farewell to our gracious hosts, my wife and I hit the road home.


It was quite interesting seeing the actual places where my family had lived, worked and spent their lives. It added depth and a sense of place to my memory of my family and it made some of the dry genealogy come vividly alive.


Am I now a fan of genealogy?


More than I was before. Perhaps.


But I do know this. If I'm ever in need of information concerning the maternal side of my family, I definitely know where to go and who to talk to!


And I'm thankful for the privilege and joy of a “new” cousin.


Even if she is a Steeler fan!


(My apologies to John and Lorraine for any inconsistencies in my narrative or any errors in names, dates or places. My intention was true even if my memory may have been faulty.)

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