Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Welcome Home

Welcome Home


In the mid-1700's there was a word coined that's always fascinated me. This word referred to the attribution of human characteristics to non-human animals or non-human things, phenomena, material states, objects or abstract concepts such as god(s). The term coined was anthropomorphism. Characters from the story “Alice in Wonderland” or “Toy Story” are prime examples of how the term could be used. The inanimate toys in Toy Story and the fanciful animals and such in Alice were given human attributes.


You might wonder why I'm starting this blog with a lexicon lesson from several hundred years ago on a 5-syllable tongue twister of a word . Trust me that it's germane to the subject of the blog. And, whether you know it or not, most of us anthropomorphise all of the time.


Do you have a pet or know someone who has a pet? Does it have a name? Do the owners treat the pet like one of the family most of the time? Bingo – you're anthropomorphising! How about on TV... Gabby Hayes jeep on the Roy Roger's Show was named Nelly-belle. Knight Rider was about an automobile named KITT. Mr. Ed was a horse, of course! My Mother the Car. Etc., etc., and more etc.


I'll bet you could name a dozen more without even breaking a sweat. In fact, when you get right down to it, humans seem to have a predilection to name things around them and to give them human attributes, at least to some degree.


Here's a few more that cross my mind. Ol' Betsy was the name of Davy Crockett's rifle. General Lee was the name of the Duke's of Hazzard's race car. Old Yeller, of course. And who can forget Pyewacket the cat from the movie “Bell, Book and Candle”. Then there was “Kukla, Fran and Ollie”, only one of which was human. How about the Transformers? And pretty much all of the Disney animal characters. B. B. King's guitar was named Lucille. And don't forget the ancients who personified the wind, rain, lighting, sun, moon and innumerable gods with human attributes. Take a look at any Greek, Roman or Norse mythology book.


The list goes on and on.


Which leads me, albeit in a convoluted way, to the fact that my family has recently gained an new addition. You might say after hearing this bit of news, “Whoa, old fellow. You're a bit long in the tooth to be adding family members. What gives?”


So let me tell you a bit about her.


She's a 2005 edition who was made in Marysville, Ohio - a little northwest of Columbus. Her color is a beautiful shade of midnight blue called Fiji Blue Pearl and she has black interior trim and a handsomely patterned gray upholstery. She sports a peppy 1.7 liter, 4-cylinder engine and an automatic transmission. She's got some miles on her but still looks and runs as sweet as the day she was made.


As you can now see from the previous description, it's obvious that we've just purchased a “previously-owned” car. A Honda Civic to be precise. We'd been in the market for a while, knowing that my old car, a '98 Toyota Corolla with almost a quarter-million miles on her, was approaching a “put some real money into me NOW or get a replacement and let someone else fix me up” point in time. I still think she's got quite a few miles left in her, but needs some expert TLC to make her purr like she should.


So we looked around here and there and finally found one in the make, model and general ballpark asking price we were looking for. Unfortunately it was 150 miles away. We decided that it was probably worth the trip, so last weekend we drove to Bowling Green, Ohio and were introduced to her. After a bit of a walk-around where we admired her lines and how she differed from our older Honda, we hopped into her and took off for a test drive. She ran sweetly, had a comfortable ride and seemed quite well-behaved on the road.


I liked her.


My wife also liked her which was a GIANT selling point!


We did some more car shopping the rest of the weekend (that's a story for another day) before agreeing that the Bowling Green car was our top choice. I called the dealer on Sunday to tell him we wanted her and a week later we went back to pick her up.


After the passing of the check to the dealer and the fastening-on of the 30-day tag, we headed on home, wending our way through the flat-lands of northwestern Ohio and back toward the hillier country near home. We made sort of a 2-car eastbound Honda parade – the newer blue one which I drove followed by our old standby green one driven by my wife.


And on that trip homeward I began to quietly talk to the new car, the new member of the family, in my mind as if it were an orphan which we had adopted and were taking home to meet the family. This is the way to your new house, I said to her in my mind. We'll drive southward until we get near Findlay, then turn east. Then we'll go by Upper Sandusky, Bucyrus and Galion. Then on through Mansfield and we're starting to get closer. Finally, as we pass over the last hill and head downward we can start to see the first of the evening lights of Wooster, your new home.


I guided my new friend up the last miles of highway and onto the city streets where her tires would now frequently roll and swung her into the driveway and, at last, to her new home. I turned off the engine, patted the steering wheel and whispered quietly, “Welcome home, little girl. Welcome home.”


Now I'll have to find some way to break it to the old one that she's going to get a new owner and a new home before too long.


But it won't be easy. She's always been a bit stubborn. But if I clean her up and shine her up I think I can persuade her.


But, in any event, I'm sure glad I don't anthropomorphise my belongings!


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