A Tale of Two Sisters

A Tale of Two Sisters

          ---Sometimes it feels like simply saying thank you just isn't enough.---

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After living these past six-and-a-half decades and watching how things work in the world and trying to understand what I've seen, I've discovered something. Most families seem to always have at least one member that's become the go-to person or the rallying point for the family. It might not even be the oldest or the smartest or the richest one, but there is always one that is accepted as the one you go to to get things done. They're the ones that the other family members defer to and ask to spearhead social occasions, to host and celebrate family happenings, the birthdays, the anniversaries, the weddings and the graduations.

They become the hosts, for many reasons, of the gatherings that provide the glue for the family and, in many instances, the extended family. They're the ones that know who's got a major birthday or anniversary coming up, the ones who always have a smile for your accomplishments and a cake to celebrate them. They seem to genuinely enjoy having family in for the holidays and to always be there to help out when times require a helping hand.

I am delighted to say I have two sisters who are magnificent in those positions.

My sister Kathy came into my family when my father remarried in 1976. My birth mother had passed away several years before and my father was lucky enough to find a wonderful woman with which to share the rest of his life. She had four children from her previous marriage and the oldest was named Kathy. Our blended family worked well together for quite a few years, with my father and her mom being the “go to” folks during that time period as is usually the case with parents. But when my father passed away in '92 and Kathy's mom began to grow infirm from age some years ago, the mantel of family “go to” person easily evolved onto her.

Kathy was always a stand-up gal. She was probably the one child of the blended family who had their head screwed on the best and who always demonstrated wisdom far beyond her years. She made a good marriage and had two great kids. She was the one that we all gravitated toward when tragedy struck; when dad passed away, when her sisters passed away long before their time, during the tough divorces and other life-altering circumstances she was there. She always had something for you to eat, a shoulder that you could cry on, a hanky to wipe away your tears.

She was our rock.

She took a job at a large church near where she lived and gained more and more responsibilities as her tenure there grew. She recently pleased all of us by answering a call and becoming an ordained minister, a position that seems to suit her well.

She was and is a tough, fair and deep-down nice lady who I'm proud to call sister.

On my wife's side of the family I'm extremely pleased to say I have another super sister! I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but I seemed to have hit a home run in wonderful women in the family.

Maenar became a member of the family some years ago when she married my brother-in-law Roy. Maenar and her family own and operate the most successful Chinese restaurant in the city in which she and Roy reside. You can probably understand why I was pleased and intrigued by that union. Suddenly I had a restaurant in the family! And, to top it off, a Chinese sister-in-law! How utterly exotic was that for this semi-naive Ohioan of German/English/Italian heritage. I had a cousin who had married a Thai girl during the Vietnam war and I always enjoyed visits with them. She was also a wonderful lady and a marvelous cook. And now, another Asian-American in the family. With a well-loved restaurant coming along for the ride!

How cool was that!

Maenar is about five foot nothing and her weight is barely in the triple digits. She has a world-class smile and is quite possibly, all kidding aside, one of the most intelligent people I've ever met, man or woman. Besides all that, she has a work ethic that would shame most people. She is an exemplary example of the “treat your customers right and they'll always come back” school of business owners. As is the norm for people like that, her workdays are always long. She is the front person in the restaurant and is the “face of the place”. People come from many miles around to eat there and do so over and over again.

And they always look for Maenar when they step in the door.

They know they'll get treated wonderfully and their meals will be superb. (Her brothers are the cooks and they're great!) The turnover at the restaurant is minimal. Her wait staff simply adore her. She's been known to close the restaurant, grab her “girls” and take them to New York for a weekend on the town to say thanks for work well done.

She is the one on that side of the family that everyone gravitates toward. She can plan a celebration and host it, spearhead a charity, support her husband in his business endeavors, lavish untold attention to her husband's children and their myriad of activities, and still be sure to ask you what you've been doing and how the world's been treating you. And really listen to your answers.

She's one of those folks who would rather stand than sit, walk than stand and run than walk. I'm constantly amazed at her energy and her joie de vivre.

Maenar is an absolute joy to be around and I am, again, also proud to call her sister.

My little immediate family, the three of us here in my small home town, have often been the recipients of my sister's invitations to their places, to sup with them, to celebrate the accomplishments of the family, to commiserate with them during down times. We've gathered together with the rest of the family at their homes and businesses to commemorate the holidays, to rejoice in engagements, children, marriages and noteworthy accomplishments, to join in the ongoing song of family and of solidarity.

And when the festivities are over, when the handshakes and hugs are concluded, when the promises to get together again “real soon” are spoken, how do you say thank you? How do you express your joy and happiness at being a part of this strange and wondrous thing, this amalgamation of disparate people with wildly differing lives who constitute the members of this family, this totally unique thing?

You say thank you Kathy and you say thank you Maenar.

But it never, ever seems to be enough.

So you sit down and maybe try to express the thank you in written form, trying to say the words differently. Maybe if you said them in another language they might be more eloquent. Gracias. Danke. M goi. Dank je. Grazie. Domo arigato. Xie xie. Merci. Spasibo.

But, in the end, it's always thanks Maenar and thanks Kath.

And it still just doesn't seem like enough...