The Bride Wore Flip-Flops

The Bride Wore Flip-Flops

I suppose I should have paid a little more attention to the wedding announcement when it came in the mail. When I read the part where it said to come casual and to wear flip-flops if you want, I should have realized that it wasn't just another way of saying “just wear casual”. They meant it exactly as it was written. I just didn't believe it at the time.

The wedding was to begin at 1 pm at the Methodist church in Madisonburg, a small suburb a little ways north of my hometown. My wife and I arrived a few minutes after 12:30. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon in this part of Ohio and I begrudged, at least a little, the necessity of attending this wedding for a 2nd cousin. The groom was the youngest son of my cousin Steve Weaver and I knew him to be a good kid – college grad, good job, level-headed. Maybe a bit car crazy, but that was an affliction of his dad's also. I originally thought that maybe we would mail this one in, to “take a rain check”, to just send the card and gift. But then I reconsidered.

He was family and family was important. And I'm very fond of his mom and dad. So we went.

I knew we were at the right place by the vehicle parked next to the door of the church. It was a bright yellow 1940 Ford Deluxe Coupe hot rod. With a life-size Homer Simpson doll hanging out the driver's window seeming to wave at the people arriving, seeming to say, “Welcome! Welcome!” Oh yes, this was definitely the right place.

When we entered the church I finally got it through my thick skull that the invitation we'd received was correct in every detail, especially the part about the footwear. My wife had taken the arm of one of the ushers that were leading us to our pew in the church and the unmistakable sound of “flop, flop, flop” came from his feet. When we looked down – there they were. Brightly-colored flip-flops! They seemed so incongruous with the dressy brown formal wear he had on from his ankles up.

Like swim fins on the feet of an Olympic gymnast.

He wasn't alone, either, as the entire wedding party, including the bride and groom, was attired in flip-flops.

We took our seats and began perusing the program for the wedding ceremonies. It had the customary listing of the organ music being played, the various parts of the wedding ceremony and their sequence, the hymns to be sung and other items. It also had a one-page insert with a short bio of each person in the wedding party. One side started with the bride, Jaimi, and went through the bridesmaids – Jodi, Emily, Carrie, Michelle and the flower girl Gabrielle. The other side was headed by the groom, Andrew, and it listed his groomsmen – Allen, Mark, Christopher and Jack. At the bottom of the “mens” side they listed a wedding participant named Dutchess Weaver.

I need to quote the listing for Dutchess for a special reason. It said, “Dutchess Weaver – Ring Bearer is a perfect lady! She has been the pride and joy of her daddy for the past three years. Like a true lady, however, she will never reveal her biological age. Some would say the two are almost inseparable. Dutchess is honored to be a part of this important day in her Daddy and Mommy's life. She is forever grateful to her Granny Peg and Mommy Jaimi for making her skirt and fleece pillow, respectively, for the day's activities and hopes that there will be MANY photos to commemorate the event. In her spare time, Dutchess enjoys ripping to shreds groundhogs, rabbits, and barking at raccoons, birds and the moon! Her new favorite friend is the skunk!”


After reading the first half of the “bio” for Dutchess I pictured a little flaxen-haired moppet wearing crinolines and flip-flops carrying a pillow with the rings attached who happened to have a unique nickname. Upon further reading I realized that the ring bearer was a dog! And sure enough she was. She even had on a skirt the same color as the bridesmaids dresses when she proudly walked up the aisle!

Before the service got under way they had a tribute to the grandmothers of the bride and groom. They lowered a movie screen behind and to one side of the altar and displayed a montage of photographs of first, my aunt Lorna who was the paternal grandmother, then the bride's grandmother. Both were deceased. They played the song “Holes in the Floor of Heaven” by Steve Wariner during the tribute and there wasn't a dry eye in the church. Even stoic old me had a lump in my throat the size of a grapefruit. Then one of the photos on the screen showed my aunt Lorna during a long-ago Christmas and there was Santa Claus standing next to her. At that moment from the front of the congregation you could plainly hear a little girl's voice excitedly exclaiming, “Santa Claus! Santa Claus!” We all laughed. I'm sure that the grandmothers looking down from heaven laughed also.

The bride's father was in an electric wheelchair and looked to be quite ill. I found out later that he had had brain surgery not that long ago and was still in poor health. I'm not sure whether the surgery was a success or not. Since he couldn't walk his daughter down the aisle as custom dictated, she took a position on his lap and he drove her down the aisle in the wheelchair.

It was a poignant moment and again there were tears in a lot of eyes.

I took a look around the room after we'd all been seated and observed what everyone was wearing and tried to decide whether the suggestion in the invitation to “go casual” had been followed. My wife and I had debated that very point only that morning and we'd settled on dressing semi-casual. She in slacks, a top and a summer-weight jacket; me in Dockers and a decent knit shirt.

We both wore shoes. I don't even think we even own a pair of flip-flops.

As I looked around I could see that we were in the majority as far as dress went. There were some in full suits and dresses, a lot in semi-casual as we were and there were also a fair number in quite casual attire varying from tropical shirts and jeans to full-blown Jimmy Buffet mode with shorts, sandals and garish shirts. And, of course you could see flip-flops here and there. You name the style of dress and it was represented.

After the ceremony and the ritual farewell of the bride and groom as they exited the building, jumped into the sunshine-yellow 1940 Ford and rumbled away, we all adjourned to fellowship hall in the lower level of the church. The groom's mother was from Thailand and had earned a reputation over the years as a fantastic cook. So she, along with a number of her Thai relatives had prepared the food for the reception. My wife and I sat with a couple of my cousins, Esther, Jim and Tim, and got caught up on family news while we ate the exotic hors d'oeuvres. The food was, as expected, outstanding! After a wait that seemed eons long, the bridal party returned from their picture-taking marathon upstairs in the sanctuary and joined us in the fellowship hall. Thankfully, not long after that we lined up for the meal and spent the next period of time oohing and aahing over the tasty Thai cuisine. And messing around with the provided chopsticks which proved hilarious.

Soon our plates were clean, our belts loosened a notch or two, and we leaned back in our chairs to watch the rest of the festivities. First there was the toast given by the best man and the maid of honor to the new Mr. and Mrs. Then there was the cutting of the wedding cake and the subsequent smearing of such all over the faces of the new spouses by their partner. I was amazed at the enthusiasm demonstrated in said smearing! Their faces were absolutely coated with cake and icing. Then it was time for the first dance of the bride and groom as man and wife. Following that dance it was time for another poignant moment to occur. The next dance was to be the one where the groom dances with his mom and the bride with her dad. We saw the wheelchair approach the dance floor and two men assisted the handicapped father and helped him to his feet and into the arms of his daughter where he swayed and danced with her. The song they danced to was, of course, another tear jerker. You could see it was torture for him to do it, but he was determined to not let his daughter down on her special day. We applauded him when he left the floor, again in his chair and looking exhausted but exalted.

My wife and I had some obligations we needed to attend to about then, so we decided it was time to bid our adieus to the post-nuptial festivities. We chatted for a bit with some of my other cousins and the groom's mom and dad on our way to the door, then made our exit.

I was, after some initial misgivings, glad we went. It was fun being out amongst younger people again, the wedding party and their many, many friends. It was also good to see and be around family again, to see your face reflected and echoed in various ways in your cousin's faces, in their gestures, their voices, their lives.

And it was good for my wife and I to see two people get married who were so full of life and so much in love as my second cousin and his new bride. It brought back many good memories.

We wish Andy and Jaimi the most wonderful life imaginable!